Anger is one of those constantly resurfacing emotions after divorce or separation. (So is resentment and jealousy, but I'll get to those later). Recently, my ex did something stupid. This came as no surprise to me as he did a lot of stupid things during the 4 odd years we were together. This stupid thing was something much worse than his normal idiotic actions. His actions didn't effect him personally at all. On the contrary, they only affected me.
A little background on the situation first before I delve into the issue. My ex and I have been apart for over a year now. We were common law for the entirety of our relationship (to the fullest extent of the word.... I pretty much had to get a divorce!) and thus were seen by friends, family, co-workers, strangers and the law as married. That being said, the Canadian and provincial governments require proof of a change of address when you legally split from someone and are receiving monies from the government (in this case, baby bonus), especially if one party remains in the marital home after the split.
In this case, I stayed in the marital home as I kept our daughter full time. So, as I was the one staying, the burden of proof for my single-lady status was primarily on me. I had to provide 3 pieces of evidence for the duration of the time my ex and I were apart showing that I resided at the residence, not him. In addition, my ex was to send in information regarding his address of residency for the same duration of time. (I'm sure you can see where this is going...) Long story short, he didn't. The government gave a warning or two, which I passed on to my ex, and then cut my baby bonus to reflect my so-called married status. Needless to say, I was furious.
My problem with this is that because of the actions (or lack there of) of my ex husband, my daughter and I were punished by the government. I think this is wrong. I will be calling my MP to complain further about this process and what actions I can take in the future to safeguard against similar issues that may arise.
In the end, very little headway was made. I called CCTB and CRA in the hopes of some kind of understanding but was instead met with a bureaucratic wall of fake empathy... "We understand your problem and sympathize with your situation but are unfortunately unable to help." I will be contacting my MP with a well-worded explanation of the situation in the hopes that others will not have to go through this.
I suppose I will leave it at that. My anger has ebbed for the week (thus far, it's only Wednesday!).
xo
My problem with this is that because of the actions (or lack there of) of my ex husband, my daughter and I were punished by the government. I think this is wrong. I will be calling my MP to complain further about this process and what actions I can take in the future to safeguard against similar issues that may arise.
In the end, very little headway was made. I called CCTB and CRA in the hopes of some kind of understanding but was instead met with a bureaucratic wall of fake empathy... "We understand your problem and sympathize with your situation but are unfortunately unable to help." I will be contacting my MP with a well-worded explanation of the situation in the hopes that others will not have to go through this.
I suppose I will leave it at that. My anger has ebbed for the week (thus far, it's only Wednesday!).
xo
