So, I am now moving my blog to it's new home! The new home is http://adventuresinsinglemommyland.wordpress.com
Please come visit!
xo
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Christmas, Snow, Boots and Snowsuits!
Well, it seems that the inevitable has happened. It has started to snow. The ground is covered in a fluffy layer of cold, wet snow and it doesn't seem to be going anywhere. This means it's time for the also inevitable purchase of new/used snow gear for my daughter. As she is now 4 years old, there is a constant battle in my house between me and her ever growing, ever changing wardrobe. This war rages on year round but somehow seems to worsen around the Christmas/Winter season. The problem this year? She has outgrown everything. Snowsuit, boots, hats, mitts, and sweaters. This constant buying and re-buying of the same winter standards got me to thinking. There are so many other children in the City of London, as well as Ontario, Canada, North America and the World, that don't have the ability to just go out and get a new snow suit or a new pair of boots when they need to. Maybe it's the Holiday season, or the financial struggle that I've gone through over the past year, but I made a decision. I'm donating my daughter's practically new snowsuit and barely worn snow boots from last year.
Donating is nothing new to me. Twice a year, my daughter and I go through her toys and donate them to the Goodwill located on my street. This always seemed like the best option to me, but something was pointed out to me the other day that struck a cord. Goodwill doesn't give these items to the needy, they charge those less fortunate a price to purchase these items, whether or not they can afford them. Goodwill is, in essence, a business. They are looking to make a profit just like any other retail location. So this year, I am donating my daughter's things to Women's Community House. There are a number of other programs where you can donate your child's gently used items that will actually be given, free of charge, to children that need them. Contact your local charities and make someone's holiday season that much warmer and brighter :)
xo
Friday, July 10, 2009
A Call to Arms for all mothers
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, friends, family and others;
I need your help. This is my formal call to arms for all those who have children, may have children, or know someone with children. This is for everyone who has ever lived with a significant other, common law partner or married. And this is especially for those, like myself, who are raising a child on their own. There is a process within CRA and CCTB that needs to be changed. I am going to try to raise as much awareness about this issue as possible because I never want anyone to go through the hell that I have gone through over the past 6 months.
So everyone is up to speed, Brad and I separated ways May 3, 2008. I kept the apartment and Alyssa. According to CRA guidelines, I had to fill out a form and send it off to CRA no sooner than 90 days after the separation. So on July 3, 2008 I officially declared myself as single with CRA, CCTB and GST/HST. I was told at the time that this was all I had to do. My thoughts were "Well, that was so easy! Finally the Canadian Government is on my side".... How wrong I was.
At the beginning of February, I received my first letter from CRA/CCTB stating that my marital status change was chosen at random for review and I had to complete this questionnaire, as well as provide 3 pieces of evidence as to my single status and that I was the primary caregiver for my daughter. I did this. I filled out the questionnaire, I got a letter from my landlord stipulating the day Brad was removed from the lease, and included bills from that time period, May 2008 to February 2009, with my name and my name alone on them. Again, I thought this was it. I had done all that they had asked, followed their instructions to the letter and there should be no more issues. Again, I was wrong.
In April 2009, I was supposedly sent another letter. I didn't receive this letter. Instead, I received the angry follow-up letter stating that if they didn't receive a response immediately, that my marital status would return to Common-law. Being the pro-active person that I am, I called CCTB. I spoke to a lovely girl who informed me that the problem was not me. The had received my questionnaire and all my provided information. The problem was that Brad had yet to do one of two things. 1) Change his address with CRA or 2) file his own answers to the questionnaire and proof of his address. The agent assured me that if one of these two things took place all would be well. Once again, my mind was at ease with the idea of just making a simple phone call and changing his address. To be on the safe side, they sent me another copy of his questionnaire. I forgot one important variable in this whole situation: Brad. Brad is unable to do these types of things for himself. In the 4 years that we were together, I had done everything regarding personal information changes or government relations. Long story short, he didn't do it.
When June 19th, 2009 hit (the CCTB payments come on or before the 20th of the month) and I was $250 short in my bank, I thought I had been robbed or some strange bill had been incorrectly withdrawn from my account. I checked my bank and no, It was my monthly CCTB payment that was short. This confused me, so I contacted CCTB again. I spoke to 3 different people that day and received 3 different stories. The first one was similar to the one above. He said that they had in fact received my copy of the questionnaire and were waiting on Brad. I then spoke to Brad who said he'd spoken to someone at CRA who said his address had now been changed. I then called CCTB back and their story had changed to "We can't seem to locate your information" and the last guy said "Regardless of whether we do or don't have it, there's nothing we can really do. Thats our decision."
Just as an extra kick at me, CRA/CCTB sent more mail for Brad to my house, dated June 29, 2009. Classic.
Anyways, now we're on to this current week. On Tuesday, I received a request from GST/HST for my common law spouse's income earnings for 2008. When I called GST/HST to find out what was going on they informed me they were unable to make a decision on my GST/HST because they were lacking information on my common law spouse. I informed them that I didn't have a common law spouse, and hadn't for over a year at which point I was again informed that it was because of my marital status with CCTB/CRA.
On Wednesday, I contacted my member of parliament Mr Glen Pearson. I spoke to a lovely gentleman in his office who is going to help me through this to the best of his ability. He contacted CCTB and was told that they have received nothing from me in the way of evidence to prove my single status. So today, I had to go to Glen Pearson's office to drop off paper work to yet again be forwarded to CRA/CCTB/GST and hopefully it won't be lost or misplaced. When I asked the guy at Glen Pearson's office how long this would take, he informed me that it usually takes 2-3 weeks but he would rush it through as best as possible and keep me informed the entire time. All that was expected until he told me that the 6 additional pieces of evidence that I was providing may not be enough and we may have to go though this whole process all over again.
One thing I forgot to mention? CCTB is now coming after me for almost $900, which was the additional monies they paid me as a single parent from May 08 to May 09. This also means that because they are saying I owe them, I no longer receive anything.
So here is my concern. Why should I be held accountable for the actions (or lack there of) of my ex husband? Why is it my fault that since the last time I spoke with someone in the CCTB office, my paperwork has mysteriously disappeared. And why are my CCTB monies to be with held because of someone else?
Please pass along this not to everyone you know. Lets raise awareness of Governmental Injustice and inequality. Actions such as this should not be aloud in a country as great as ours and I fully intend to stand up for my rights and get what I am entitled to.
I need your help. This is my formal call to arms for all those who have children, may have children, or know someone with children. This is for everyone who has ever lived with a significant other, common law partner or married. And this is especially for those, like myself, who are raising a child on their own. There is a process within CRA and CCTB that needs to be changed. I am going to try to raise as much awareness about this issue as possible because I never want anyone to go through the hell that I have gone through over the past 6 months.
So everyone is up to speed, Brad and I separated ways May 3, 2008. I kept the apartment and Alyssa. According to CRA guidelines, I had to fill out a form and send it off to CRA no sooner than 90 days after the separation. So on July 3, 2008 I officially declared myself as single with CRA, CCTB and GST/HST. I was told at the time that this was all I had to do. My thoughts were "Well, that was so easy! Finally the Canadian Government is on my side".... How wrong I was.
At the beginning of February, I received my first letter from CRA/CCTB stating that my marital status change was chosen at random for review and I had to complete this questionnaire, as well as provide 3 pieces of evidence as to my single status and that I was the primary caregiver for my daughter. I did this. I filled out the questionnaire, I got a letter from my landlord stipulating the day Brad was removed from the lease, and included bills from that time period, May 2008 to February 2009, with my name and my name alone on them. Again, I thought this was it. I had done all that they had asked, followed their instructions to the letter and there should be no more issues. Again, I was wrong.
In April 2009, I was supposedly sent another letter. I didn't receive this letter. Instead, I received the angry follow-up letter stating that if they didn't receive a response immediately, that my marital status would return to Common-law. Being the pro-active person that I am, I called CCTB. I spoke to a lovely girl who informed me that the problem was not me. The had received my questionnaire and all my provided information. The problem was that Brad had yet to do one of two things. 1) Change his address with CRA or 2) file his own answers to the questionnaire and proof of his address. The agent assured me that if one of these two things took place all would be well. Once again, my mind was at ease with the idea of just making a simple phone call and changing his address. To be on the safe side, they sent me another copy of his questionnaire. I forgot one important variable in this whole situation: Brad. Brad is unable to do these types of things for himself. In the 4 years that we were together, I had done everything regarding personal information changes or government relations. Long story short, he didn't do it.
When June 19th, 2009 hit (the CCTB payments come on or before the 20th of the month) and I was $250 short in my bank, I thought I had been robbed or some strange bill had been incorrectly withdrawn from my account. I checked my bank and no, It was my monthly CCTB payment that was short. This confused me, so I contacted CCTB again. I spoke to 3 different people that day and received 3 different stories. The first one was similar to the one above. He said that they had in fact received my copy of the questionnaire and were waiting on Brad. I then spoke to Brad who said he'd spoken to someone at CRA who said his address had now been changed. I then called CCTB back and their story had changed to "We can't seem to locate your information" and the last guy said "Regardless of whether we do or don't have it, there's nothing we can really do. Thats our decision."
Just as an extra kick at me, CRA/CCTB sent more mail for Brad to my house, dated June 29, 2009. Classic.
Anyways, now we're on to this current week. On Tuesday, I received a request from GST/HST for my common law spouse's income earnings for 2008. When I called GST/HST to find out what was going on they informed me they were unable to make a decision on my GST/HST because they were lacking information on my common law spouse. I informed them that I didn't have a common law spouse, and hadn't for over a year at which point I was again informed that it was because of my marital status with CCTB/CRA.
On Wednesday, I contacted my member of parliament Mr Glen Pearson. I spoke to a lovely gentleman in his office who is going to help me through this to the best of his ability. He contacted CCTB and was told that they have received nothing from me in the way of evidence to prove my single status. So today, I had to go to Glen Pearson's office to drop off paper work to yet again be forwarded to CRA/CCTB/GST and hopefully it won't be lost or misplaced. When I asked the guy at Glen Pearson's office how long this would take, he informed me that it usually takes 2-3 weeks but he would rush it through as best as possible and keep me informed the entire time. All that was expected until he told me that the 6 additional pieces of evidence that I was providing may not be enough and we may have to go though this whole process all over again.
One thing I forgot to mention? CCTB is now coming after me for almost $900, which was the additional monies they paid me as a single parent from May 08 to May 09. This also means that because they are saying I owe them, I no longer receive anything.
So here is my concern. Why should I be held accountable for the actions (or lack there of) of my ex husband? Why is it my fault that since the last time I spoke with someone in the CCTB office, my paperwork has mysteriously disappeared. And why are my CCTB monies to be with held because of someone else?
Please pass along this not to everyone you know. Lets raise awareness of Governmental Injustice and inequality. Actions such as this should not be aloud in a country as great as ours and I fully intend to stand up for my rights and get what I am entitled to.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Occasionally, I get mad....
Anger is one of those constantly resurfacing emotions after divorce or separation. (So is resentment and jealousy, but I'll get to those later). Recently, my ex did something stupid. This came as no surprise to me as he did a lot of stupid things during the 4 odd years we were together. This stupid thing was something much worse than his normal idiotic actions. His actions didn't effect him personally at all. On the contrary, they only affected me.
A little background on the situation first before I delve into the issue. My ex and I have been apart for over a year now. We were common law for the entirety of our relationship (to the fullest extent of the word.... I pretty much had to get a divorce!) and thus were seen by friends, family, co-workers, strangers and the law as married. That being said, the Canadian and provincial governments require proof of a change of address when you legally split from someone and are receiving monies from the government (in this case, baby bonus), especially if one party remains in the marital home after the split.
In this case, I stayed in the marital home as I kept our daughter full time. So, as I was the one staying, the burden of proof for my single-lady status was primarily on me. I had to provide 3 pieces of evidence for the duration of the time my ex and I were apart showing that I resided at the residence, not him. In addition, my ex was to send in information regarding his address of residency for the same duration of time. (I'm sure you can see where this is going...) Long story short, he didn't. The government gave a warning or two, which I passed on to my ex, and then cut my baby bonus to reflect my so-called married status. Needless to say, I was furious.
My problem with this is that because of the actions (or lack there of) of my ex husband, my daughter and I were punished by the government. I think this is wrong. I will be calling my MP to complain further about this process and what actions I can take in the future to safeguard against similar issues that may arise.
In the end, very little headway was made. I called CCTB and CRA in the hopes of some kind of understanding but was instead met with a bureaucratic wall of fake empathy... "We understand your problem and sympathize with your situation but are unfortunately unable to help." I will be contacting my MP with a well-worded explanation of the situation in the hopes that others will not have to go through this.
I suppose I will leave it at that. My anger has ebbed for the week (thus far, it's only Wednesday!).
xo
My problem with this is that because of the actions (or lack there of) of my ex husband, my daughter and I were punished by the government. I think this is wrong. I will be calling my MP to complain further about this process and what actions I can take in the future to safeguard against similar issues that may arise.
In the end, very little headway was made. I called CCTB and CRA in the hopes of some kind of understanding but was instead met with a bureaucratic wall of fake empathy... "We understand your problem and sympathize with your situation but are unfortunately unable to help." I will be contacting my MP with a well-worded explanation of the situation in the hopes that others will not have to go through this.
I suppose I will leave it at that. My anger has ebbed for the week (thus far, it's only Wednesday!).
xo
Saturday, June 13, 2009
New start, new blog!
Now that the world is alive with talks of meebo this, tweet that, creep so-and-so, and myspace everyone I thought it was about time that I joined the blogging revolution. As a single mom, I've learned so much. In the past year, I've had the opportunity to truly explore who I am and what I want. A lot has changed and it's made me re-evaluate what's important to me.
The purpose of this blog is to be an outlet for me to share my newly found outlook on life. As well, I hope to offer some help on being a newly single mom. It's harder then anyone can imagine but, when you do it right, extremely rewarding. A close friend of mine said that I should write a book about what I've gone through and how I came out somewhat unscathed. Maybe someday, but not today.
And now, as my batter begins to die on my laptop, I take my leave for the evening.
xo
The purpose of this blog is to be an outlet for me to share my newly found outlook on life. As well, I hope to offer some help on being a newly single mom. It's harder then anyone can imagine but, when you do it right, extremely rewarding. A close friend of mine said that I should write a book about what I've gone through and how I came out somewhat unscathed. Maybe someday, but not today.
And now, as my batter begins to die on my laptop, I take my leave for the evening.
xo
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